On Scenes

When I was little in Boston, I knew it was time for bed when the Cheers theme came on.

Almost every day, lately, and for some reason, I’ve been thinking about how truly safe and at home I felt during those years as particular sights and sounds seem to cause fond memories to come flooding back; but it’s been more wonderful recently to feel awakened to the staying power of sturdier dimensions of identity and provision that good experiences symbolize. During those years, there were seemingly endless opportunities to learn, to play, to feel truly like myself, and to feel embraced by a community dedicated to love. I was blessed with a constellation of neighborhood friends, immersed in history, and enriched by a layered palimpsest of mentors who anchored my home, church, and school life. Although I didn’t know it, my family were rich; but much more importantly, there was something so anointed-feeling about our lives.

Where I live now, I walk almost every day to a lovely nature preserve surrounded by remarkable mansions; and it’s felt both like a surprising reminder of that period as well as a chance to reconnect to a feeling of graceful provision. And as silly as it sounds, even visits to a café where I’ve made daily stops on the way has brought this continual opportunity to feel remembered and pursued by God’s love into noticeable relief in recent months, especially, as an animal person, for the way its manager always makes a point of feeding local birds. (As a side note, almost immediately after I wrote this, I learned that this person had been let go, so I’m not sure whether this will turn out to have been a fleeting feeling or not… I hope not.)

I realize it’s been close to a month, but I thought again today of Valentine’s Day. I’m not sure whether you’ve ever experienced this, reader, but, while I was by no means dreading the holiday, I was almost stunned to feel pursued – lavishly – by so much affection and delight all day long that my heart still feels warmed by a truly sweet series of events, punctuated by a number of day-brightening encounters with more friendly dogs than normal, including one particularly fashionable one whose humorously contrasting responses to me and to a park ranger walking just a few steps ahead even offered an opportunity for belly laughing. (He had evidently been gifted a special Valentine’s outfit that morning and seemed not to want to waste time or dapperness on any boys.)

On Vision

I was touched this month re-viewing a recent podcast partly about ways in which an eminent, but sometimes ostracized, group of independent religious thinkers in academia have connected with and encouraged one another; and it was enormously encouraging to gain a glimpse into clearly impressive reserves of endurance, clear-sightedness, and joy in the absence of very much external validation.

And, while I’ve not been running very regularly, I’ve been reminded of the experience of working toward personal record-setting in recent years, remembering in particular how difficult, and even painful, the final seconds, and even minutes, of a new time can be. After attaining a goal, it is easy to dismiss this discomfort as meaningless and unworthy of memory, but I’m grateful for the recency of these experiences if only for the proof they provide that self-assured struggle, however challenging, toward a new goal is no evidence of its invalidity, especially as, when needed, support and encouragement, however understated, always seem to appear.

I continue to feel so grateful that, when I’ve felt my own endurance has been tested, I have reliably found this to be the case, as I remembered today, with regard to a chance I had several years ago to receive a life-changing pep talk from pastor CT Vivian during what had felt like a particularly low point. It is still so helpful.

On Focal Points

More than simply moving forward in their respective journeys, Michael Behe, John Lennox, and Stephen Meyer all seem, to me, to be advancing toward more precise goals and regardless of fanfare; and this feels instructive today given what at least sometimes appears to be a prevailing emphasis on movement over progress in political debate.

There is, increasingly, a need, I believe, for a greater degree of precision with regard to the destinations toward which we are, collectively, moving as conversations about ideas like equality and equity, investment and speculation, compositional and structural integrity, and procedural and distributive justice reveal a blurredness in the distance in need of some measure resolution in the near term.

With regard to concepts like equity and equality, for example – one dealing with parity of outcomes and the other parity of opportunities – while, at a glance, it can appear terms are equivalent when they are, actually, very different.

Sometimes, of course this is unintentional (like the time I – mortifyingly – walked into Dunkin Donuts and asked for a box of midgets), but, other times, it is intentional.

In either case, the problem needs to be addressed, and greater clarity is needed. And, as I wrote in Paper Parks, I still believe that the imposition causing this impediment may be the lens we call the publicly-traded journalism brand – an apparatus that, while by no means ill-intended, may perhaps be ones we are simply ready to move beyond.

I don’t believe the goal of the current period of awakening should just be for publicly-traded media companies to make publicly-traded media companies look more equitable but, rather, for these organizations’ actual effects on the world to be evaluated by independent actors; and I believe that what is required is for the (both essential) topics of corporate media business models and civil rights to be considered independent of one another. This would enable both civil rights within and civil rights outside of media corporations to be protected.

One thing with which I have grappled most intensively in recent months, and even years, is my own and others’ effective, even if unwilling, incrementalism in idea-sharing piecemeal when it seemed no media outlet would be willing to allow insights obtained during my years at CNN to be expressed alongside concerns about women’s rights there. But corporations cannot forever take credit for (especially while warping) individuals’ ideas as Americans will not allow it.

Still, what does one do when a subject requiring attention seems to be taking shelter behind oneself?

The only thing that ever helps when the one one seeks is is hiding just out of view: a sudden move.

On Stillness

In the meantime, I’m grateful to be able to enjoy being still and meditate on signs of progress and grace already visible in my life.

And it’s heartening to see, to feel, and to participate in demonstrations of encouragement, inclusion, and provision in what can seem the most mundane of places.

For me and the crows, I guess.